That Douchebag...

Ok ...you know that guy/girl? That one in the shiny sports car who is going 10-15 over the speed limit? It doesnt really matter that they are driving in the fast lane, but they're blasting their music and having a good time and your stuck behind some honda in the slow lane going 50. Yeah, you know that douchebag who never seems to get caught by a cop? And who inspires you to switch lanes, and go like two miles over the speed limit and then BOOM! There is a cop who doesn't go after the douche...they go after you?

I am that douche.

But I wasnt always that douche. In fact I have only had my license for a year. And I have NEVER gotten pulled over after I got my license...But this is the story of how I rached up nearly six hundred dollars as a 17 year old, learned the no.1 fatal mistake commited with cops and got beaten up my the braum's parking lot.

*We are transported by a magical transport cloud to a bright and sunny day. The day after I graduated, when by default you have the big family gathering to commemorate your success.*

I had been in quite a few car wrecks, as a young child and as such I was not too eager to start driving when I hit sixteen. So it waited...and when I turned eighteen Mom decided I needed some way of going about to my friends house that *DIDNT* require a driver's license. (Read: there is no such thing in this state at the time but salesmen will tell you anything if your willing to plunk down 800 dollars on a aero scooter.)

It was my graduation present. A red and black (sort of signature color) aero scooter. It may have been a sign that when I hopped on it - only a few minutes short of figuring out how it turned on- that I hit the neighbors across the street fence at 20 mph. But we assumed that I would get the hang of it, and nearly an hour later I had figured out how to manuever it safely, and use the turn signals. (And when your riding a moped, that i really all you need to know.)

The next day, after we hauled it to our house (some 30 minutes away from where the party wa taking place) I rode it all around our neighboorhood. Things were going great. Until I decided that I should go visit my friend who lived ten minute away. This meant crossing the dreaded 40 mph street Pennslyvania and 63rd. Granted on the aero it could go over 60mph *but* that doesnt mean you want it too. It took a few minutes to even get up to 40 mph, and as such I planned this carefully. Choosing the part of penn that ran through a rich neighborhood. There the speed limit was only 25 mph. It was then that I went inside and told my mom where I was going.

The journey really began here. I drove it all the way to her house with only a few minor scary parts. I really feel bad for those motorists who get tailgated by big scary f-150s, now. But either way, I made it to her house. Where we proceeded to gas up her Stella and ride to the Barnes and Noble down the street. Upon discovering that we left the money needed to buy the book we wanted we turned to leave. But as I turned to exit my parking lot, the bike went down. And so did my face. Into the gravel of the braum's parking lot. There was blood. And a lot of it. I wa absolutely terrified for a minute of the sting in my face, so I did what any kid would have done. TEXTED my mother. Because in my mind, she wouldnt have called and by the time I made it home she would have had time to calm down. After all it's not like I got pulled over or something, right? Wrong.

"Can I see some ID miss?" The officer asked and some how through my tears and blood I managed to reply that I didn't have a license and that the scooter shop where we bought this said I didnt need one.

"You ran that stop sign back there...at 50 mph." I blinked, tears gone now. Was there a stop sign on the street that connected my friends house and barnes and noble.

"..Sorry Sir...I....did you say 50 mph?" *FATAL MISTAKE HERE- do not ever ask an officer of the law a question unless it is :how do you get here:?*

"Yes ma'am...whats your name?" To make a long story short, he took down my info...informed me a tow truck would be on the way, and cited me for 1) running a stop sign, 2)speeing in excess of 10 mph and 3) Not have a state license.

To be fair...I did earn all of those. To be unfair he told the tow truck guy that I was being arrested just as my friend showed up and asked if she could pull it into her garage...which was ten feet away from the scene of "the crime."

Moral of the story: don't drive without a license on you...EVER...